why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
