john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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