She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
