Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
