I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
