An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
