My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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