I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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