It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
