worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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