can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
