How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
its liver damage thursday
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