I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
