he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
