I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
