ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
