well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
