my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
