Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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