I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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