so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
