so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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