So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
