I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
