I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
