Please don't use social media to get back at me.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
