My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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