I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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