Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
