god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
