so that wasnt chicken after all
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
