I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
