We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
