Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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