Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
