dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
