i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Vodka?
Forever.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
