people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Panties = found
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
