i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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