I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Houston, we have a squirter
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
