insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
