He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
