You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
