he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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