That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
