You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
