I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
found the other keg... it's in the tree
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
