i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
