Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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