hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
